


Semaphore Out On The Floor

by zzegnas



Series: The Golden Age of Wireless [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Fluff, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 21:15:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2747360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zzegnas/pseuds/zzegnas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“My programming detects you were telling a joke.  I am amused.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Good!” Niall chuckles, patting Harry on the shoulder.  “At least you a sense of humor.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“In lieu of your humor, I have just downloaded ‘The World’s Greatest Dad Jokes’ into my library for future reference.  Fairly impressive and entertaining, would you like to hear one?”</em>
</p><p>—<br/>Due to recent memory problems, Niall is given a service android programmed to be his companion, who proves to be both a help and an unintentional nuisance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Semaphore Out On The Floor

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blackviolets](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackviolets/gifts), [hipstaplease](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hipstaplease/gifts).



> Androids are something else. I wanted to write something short and cute (or just passable, really), showing the friendship between Harry/Niall, as well as Harry's agenda to get Niall laid lol oops...
> 
> There are brief mentions of sexual acts, but only by name and nothing smutty :)
> 
> Title from Thomas Dolby's '[Hyperactive!](http://youtu.be/8blDynXi5Ck)'.

_Thank you for purchasing an Evans Service Android! To get started, please plug in your android to any power socket and charge to capacity. After a full charge, insert the complimentary memory card into the memory drive and begin programming._  
  
Niall reads aloud from the operating manual, going through every step listed once his android is at one hundred percent. The android’s memory drive is located under its ear, a small slot easily concealed by its long curly hair. As soon as Niall inserts the memory card it powers up, letting out a loud and quick whir from its chest. Niall leans in close to hear the sound, and stands to attention when he notices its fingers twitching.  
  
“Hello. I am your new Evans Service Android, Model 202, Series 12. Please determine alias before proceeding.”  
  
Niall quickly flips through the manual to find the page of basic commands. “Terminal, _alias_. Input name, _Harry_.”  
  
The android stills for a moment, then replies with, “Hello. My name is Harry,” in a friendly monotonous tone. “What is yours?”  
  
“Uh, Bond! James Bond. But you can call me Niall.”  
  
Harry’s chest whirs again, staring blankly at Niall. He figures Harry must be downloading the information into his memory, and it’s only a few seconds’ wait before Harry blinks and breaks into a smile.  
  
“My programming detects you were telling a joke. I am amused.”  
  
“Good!” Niall chuckles, patting Harry on the shoulder. “At least you a sense of humor.”  
  
“In lieu of your humor, I have just downloaded ‘ _The World’s Greatest Dad Jokes_ ’ into my library for future reference. Fairly impressive and entertaining, would you like to hear one?”  
  
Niall puts a hand up. “Maybe later. We have some work to do.”  
  
“Yes, Niall.”  
  
—  
  
Niall’s memory isn’t as great as it once was. While watching his cousin's little league baseball game, a line drive straight to the head knocked him clean out for two days, and Niall knows things tend to fade in and out without him realizing any of it. He can remember the mundane things; brushing his teeth, picking up the mail, and going to work. And if he doesn't remind himself enough times, he'll use up pads of sticky notes and write all over his hands, no matter how ridiculous it makes him look.

But thanks to his mother purchasing a service android for him, Niall can tell his memory is improving with Harry's help, although neither of them are ever prepared when a headache strikes at any given moment. Niall's gone days without the excruciating pain, and other times he'll wake up sweating in the middle of the night, his head throbbing so much it might as well burst.  
  
And that’s where Harry comes in.  
  
He’ll rush to Niall’s bed side and keep him calm, massaging his temples until Niall falls right back asleep, taking anywhere from a minute to an hour. Harry’s been a constant presence in the last three months, and Niall will be the first to admit Harry is the closest thing he has to a friend who keeps him from feeling like he hasn’t completely lost his mind.  
  
And when Harry isn’t keeping the apartment tidy or reminding Niall when to refill his medication, he’s downloading countless libraries of information, and he’s taken to practicing juggling to amuse both himself and his owner.  
  
Niall finds comfort in the soft hum of Harry’s operating system when he powers down after a long day, a mechanical lullaby that makes it hard to forget he’s not alone.  
  
—  
  
Niall’s mother checks in every so often, just to see how he’s holding up. And while they’re out to lunch one day, Niall notices she’s mentioning far too many of his cousins with significant others, and makes no effort to mask her disdain about his single status. It’s easy to see she wants Niall to date again, but it’s been way too long since his last, and he’s not so sure he’d even remember to get ready for one if he had the chance.  
  
“Your current confusion and low hormone levels indicate you do not wish to mate at this moment,” Harry informs his owner. "I am unable to understand why your mother is persistent with you, despite your irritation."

"It's a mom thing," Niall laughs, scritching Harry's head. "They say one thing and mean another just to guilt you into it. I wouldn't be surprised if she installed some sort of dating software in your memory drive when I wasn't looking. _Find my lonely son a date_ ," he mockingly says with a snort.  
  
“A date,” Harry pauses to download the information, then continues, “is the product of a date palm or _phoenix dactylifera_ , a tree native to North Africa and the Middle East. Shall I find a place of business to make a purchase?”  
  
“I didn't mean literally!” Niall throws his head back to laugh. “But, I guess that'd be nice. Going to dinner with someone, getting to know them and all. The stuff you see in movies.”  
  
“Is that not what I am programmed to do with you?”  
  
Niall frowns. “You and I have a different relationship.”  
  
“Your tone suggests otherwise,” Harry remarks, his chest softly whirring. “Perhaps I may be of assistance! I am more than happy to set up a dating profile at your request.”  
  
“Hey, come on, I was being stupid,” Niall scratches his head, embarrassed. “I’m not lonely, not when I’ve got you. You’re my friend and it’s better than nothing.”  
  
“I only do as you ask. And I do not need my programming to understand you seek a romantic companion.”  
  
“That’s not important, forget I said anything.”  
  
“But you just admitted—”  
  
“Harry, I said that’s enough! Do not bring this up again, that is a direct command.”  
  
Harry’s taken aback, the whirring in his chest slowing down to a quiet whine. “Yes, Niall.”  
  
—  
  
Harry goes grocery shopping for Niall on Thursday mornings, just a quick fifteen minutes to the market and heads right back home. Niall decides to tag along one day, putting more items into Harry’s basket than he’s used to. But, as always, Harry never complains.  
  
They hit the produce section and Niall’s off searching for the perfect tomatoes to put into a sausage ragu he’d like to make for dinner. The misting sprinklers go off and Harry makes a sad noise, making Niall chuckle to himself. The amount of water won’t affect Harry’s circuitry, but he’s cautious, standing motionless for a good minute before the sprinklers stop and he can go back to picking out bunches of broccoli.  
  
“Harry, don’t forget the bibb lettuce, I need that for my lunch tomorrow,” Niall says over his shoulder. He blindly reaches out for a plastic case of roma tomatoes, patting them down when he suddenly feels another hand over his.  
  
“Sorry! Sorry, I-I didn’t see your hand there, I wasn’t looking.”  
  
Niall immediately turns and his brow twitches, blinking rapidly at the stock boy with the lime green apron and burgundy hoodie. “ _Whoa_ ,” is all Niall can say, entranced by the big eyes staring back at him.  
  
Their hands are still together when they look down, quickly pulling away in unison. Niall would normally brush off a mistake like this, but he can feel his cheeks getting hotter, unsure of where to look when the stock boy anxiously bites his lip, and points at the name tag pinned to his apron.  
  
“I’m Zayn. What’s your name?”  
  
“Niall, Niall Horan,” he answers a little too quickly. “Are you new here?”  
  
“Yeah, I've been here a few months. I've never seen you, though,” Zayn smiles, making Niall’s heart jump a little.  
  
Soon, Zayn begins removing the tomatoes on display, quickly replacing them with new ones. “These are fresh, picked straight from the vine. I, uh, I prefer cherry tomatoes, but they have to be cooked. Gotta be cooked,” Zayn nods his head, lips thinned.  
  
Niall smiles and reaches for two cases, only for Zayn to hold out a hand to stop him. “Here, let me,” he says, and carefully places the tomatoes into Niall’s basket. His messy black hair frames his face, his long eyelashes on display when he shyly looks up at Niall. There’s a flush of red on his cheeks when he steps back, quickly wetting his lips in anticipation.  
  
“Well, uh, I better get going,” Niall says when Harry waves at him across the way. He shuffles around Zayn to leave, both of them laughing nervously. “Thanks for the, uh, the um. Thanks for the thing.”  
  
“My pleasure, Niall,” Zayn gives him a little wave. “Enjoy your tomatoes.”  
  
Niall turns his heel, yelping when he accidentally bumps into Harry. He grabs the sleeve of Harry’s sweater, walking fast towards the self checkout area with a mile-wide grin.  
  
“Did you make a new friend?” Harry asks enthusiastically. “Is he an android, too? His features are very symmetrical.”  
  
Niall finds an empty lane and empties their baskets, scanning their items as fast as he can. “He’s not an android, and I don’t know if he’s a friend. What do you call someone you’ve barely met?”  
  
“An acquaintance,” Harry immediately answers. “Judging by your high pheromone levels, I believe your body is implying you would like to mate with him. Engaging in sexual intercourse is a natural response to immediate sexual attraction.”  
  
Niall bursts with laughter, its volume startling everyone around them. “I have no idea where you get this information from, but don’t say those kinds of things. Not in public, anyway.”  
  
“If it is of any help, I also detected the same levels from your new friend.”  
  
Niall stills, slowly looking up at Harry. “Really?” he asks, a little breathless.  
  
“I would never lie to you, Niall.”  
  
Niall looks back towards the produce section, where Zayn is now setting up a display of apples. Zayn tilts his head towards the checkout stands and catches Niall’s eye, both of them immediately turning away in embarrassment.  
  
“What if I forget? I mean, we only talked for a minute, maybe I shouldn’t make a big deal out of it.”  
  
Harry points a finger over Niall’s chest, tracing an outline of a heart. “I believe your memory is strong enough to remember him.”  
  
—  
  
Harry’s right.  
  
The next time they go shopping, Niall causally makes his way to the produce section and Zayn is there, this time with a cart full of romaine lettuce hearts. Niall doesn’t need them, but he asks Zayn for a package anyway, just so he can feel the rush of blood through his veins when Zayn smiles at him.  
  
Zayn has a cart full of turnips the next time Niall visits, then celery stalks and vidalia onions the following two weeks. A day before Thanksgiving, Zayn’s building a display full of sweet potatoes, but hands Niall a pint of strawberries with the words, _For the cute blond :)_ , written on the cover. By the fifth week, there’s a large pallet of boxes stacked up between them, and Zayn can’t help but turn scarlet red when he takes out a single eggplant, long in length and hefty in weight.  
  
“What’ll you do with this?” Zayn asks, fingers picking at the stem.  
  
“Don’t know,” Niall holds onto the other end, “probably make an eggplant parmesan for one.”  
  
Zayn smiles, the red on his cheeks now turning into a light pink. “Speaking of food, um,” he places the eggplant back in its box, “I was thinking, maybe, do you kinda wanna have lunch with me one day?”  
  
“I like to have lunch every day,” Niall answers, amused.  
  
Zayn laughs, unable to stop himself from grinning. “I’m free this weekend, I can take you someplace nice instead of, y’know,” he points at their surroundings, and shrugs it off. “Only if you want to, though.”  
  
Niall’s heart flutters, his stomach doing backflips when he nods his head. But soon he’s shot with a sudden pang of guilt, looking over Zayn’s shoulder with worry. He finds Harry just a few feet away holding two cantaloupes to his chest, weighing them in each hand with a goofy smile on his face.  
  
“I’m not sure, actually,” Niall quietly replies.  
  
“Oh,” Zayn frowns. “It’s okay, maybe next time when you’re not busy.”  
  
“No, it’s just—it’s Harry. He’s, um,” Niall bites the nail of his thumb, unable to look at Zayn.  
  
“I don’t mind if you bring Harry,” Zayn says assuringly. "He's your service android, I get that you'll need him around."

"I didn't want you to think he was tagging along for the hell of it or anything."

"It's no big deal as long as I get to see you," Zayn shifts his feet, smiling shyly at Niall.  
  
_Malik!_ a gruff voice shouts across the way, startling both of them. _You’re supposed to be unloading artichokes out back! Get to it!_  
  
Zayn takes out a pen from his apron, quickly writing down his number on the back of Niall’s hand. “I’m off work at two, call me so we can make plans.” Niall waves at Zayn as he’s walking away, grinning until he bumps into Harry standing behind him. Harry gives Zayn an enthusiastic _Hii_ , only for Zayn to trip and take off in a flash.  
  
“Strange. I detected high levels of testosterone and anxiety from Zayn in the last two and a half minutes,” Harry points out. He notices the blue ink on Niall’s hand, asking, “Is this his model and series number?”  
  
“He's _human_ , Harry, why do you always ask if he's an android?” Niall laughs.

"He certainly functions like one."  
  
—  
  
Plans are made to have lunch at a sushi restaurant the next day, and Niall’s so giddy that he goes to bed with a smile on his face for the first time. When he wakes up several hours later, he’s in a panic, realizing he’d forgotten to give Harry a charge. He rushes out of his room and finds Harry slumped on the kitchen floor, his eyes emitting a red flash every other second.  
  
_Battery power at four percent. For minimum functionality, please charge to forty percent. System shutdown imminent in one hour._  
  
“Oh god, Harry, I’m so sorry!” Niall cries, helping him to his feet.  
  
He guides an overheated Harry back to the living room and sits him down on the couch, frantically looking for Harry’s charging device. As soon as they’re found, Niall attaches a large connector to a port on the back of Harry’s neck and plugs the other half into a wall socket, breathing a sigh of relief once the sound of Harry’s chest goes from a broken growl to a soft purr.  
  
_Estimated charge time to capacity: four and a half hours._  
  
“Damn it! Of all days for this to happen,” he groans, frustrated. The digital clock above the television reads 10:45 AM, and the minutes until his date with Zayn at twelve seem to fly faster just thinking about it.  
  
“Don’t forget, _twelvetwelvetwelve_ ,” Niall says, and repeats it to himself until he doesn’t have to.  
  
—  
  
At exactly 11:55, Niall runs back to the dining room where he’d relocated Harry to charge, quickly changing him out of his usual oversized blue sweater for a red flannel shirt. He gives the command for Harry’s battery power, letting out a groan when he finds out Harry’s charge is at a measly twenty-two percent. Unplugging Harry’s connectors, Niall recites another command, using a force start to wake him up.  
  
“Good morning, Niall. What can I help you with today?”  
  
“Remember Zayn from the market? I have a date with him in a few minutes and I need you there.”  
  
“Zayn? Oh, yes! The android you wish to mate with, I remember him.”  
  
“ _Harry_ ,” Niall groans, embarrassed. He grabs a forest green scarf his mother left behind and turns it into a headband, tying it around Harry’s messy curls to make him look somewhat presentable. “Zayn will be picking us up soon, but you’re not at a full charge. Do you think you can manage for two hours?”  
  
Harry leans forward to stand up, but falls right back down onto his seat. “I may need a while to recalibrate.”  
  
“Maybe I should call it off. I’ll tell Zayn to come back once you’re at minimum capacity, that way you won't be as tired.”  
  
“Such jokes you make,” Harry laughs, adjusting his headband. “I do not mind if you leave me here to charge. In fact, I believe my absence will increase the chances of an intimate encounter,” he suggests, slowly wiggling his brows.  
  
“Don’t make things up like that, I need you with me and you know it,” Niall says in desperation. “You say my memory’s strong enough, but I know I’ll forget and I — I want to remember this. I want to remember Zayn.”  
  
“You already have.”  
  
Niall feels his shoulders relax a little, hugging Harry tightly as soon as he’s able to stand up. There’s a knock on the door right after, and Niall takes a deep breath, taking long strides with Harry slowly following behind.  
  
“We can do this, can’t we?”  
  
“Of course. Your mother would be pleased to know of this.”  
  
“Please don’t bring this up to her,” Niall grimaces. “Do I look okay, though?”  
  
Harry gives him a once over, ending it with a nod. “Your fly is open.”  
  
—  
  
Lunch goes off without a hitch. Niall finds himself laughing a lot more than he’s used to with Zayn, speaking freely in the comforts of a restaurant rather than the produce section of a tiny market. The two spend their time chatting and trying out different sushi, even going as far as daring each other to eat large amounts of wasabi. But for all their dares, neither of them can hide the fact that they genuinely like each other.  
  
Niall checks on Harry every once in a while, just to make sure he’s still functioning as best as he can. When he gives the command for Harry’s battery power, he’s down to sixteen percent, and Niall’s worried he’ll be drained before they get back home.  
  
“Do not worry about me, I am the least of your troubles,” he tells Niall with a weak grin. His right eye begins to twitch when he looks at Zayn, who accidentally confuses it for a flirtatious wink when he points it out.  
  
“How very amusing of you to believe I am capable of wooing,” Harry playfully flips his hair. “However, it is evident your body language suggests you have an ulterior motive with my owner. My analysis? A sexual act to be performed and reciprocated, preferably a sixty-nine.”  
  
“Is he always like this?” Zayn asks, amazed.  
  
“You have no idea,” Niall sighs.  
  
—  
  
The date comes to an end after two hours in the restaurant, and another at a coffee shop. Zayn and Niall walk beside each other, while Harry slowly shuffles ahead of them towards their apartment. Their backs of their hands touch, sending a slight jolt between them. Niall can hear Zayn take a deep breath, both of them looking at each other before turning away with a smile.  
  
The door to Niall’s place is slightly ajar when they reach it, and he takes a peek inside to make sure Harry hasn’t collapsed. Niall makes a slow turn, facing Zayn as he leans against the door frame.  
  
“I had a really great time today, it’s been a while for me.”  
  
“I don’t go on a lot of dates, but I really wanted us to get out of that dumb market, you know?” Zayn bites his lip, then slowly inches his way towards Niall until the tips of their noses touch. “Sorry,” he laughs.  
  
“If you wanted to kiss me you should have done it by now,” Niall smirks, and Zayn hesitates for a moment before he lays a quick and chaste kiss on Niall’s lips.  
  
“How was that?”  
  
“You can do better.”  
  
Zayn can’t help but laugh, but he shuts up when Niall grabs the collar of his shirt, bringing him in for another kiss. It’s heated this time, with Niall threading his fingers through Zayn’s hair, and Zayn pressing Niall against the door frame with his hands on Niall’s hips. Niall pushes his foot against the open door and pulls Zayn with him, walking backwards into the apartment, lips still locked while quietly moaning into each other’s mouths.  
  
“Oh, good! You are doing just as I hoped,” Harry claps to himself, startling Niall and Zayn to break apart. “Pay me no mind,” he giggles, unwinding the cord to his charging device. He walks behind the couple towards a wall socket, plugging in before he walks right back in front of them.  
  
“Whilst you two were flirting over coffee earlier, I viewed countless videos consisting of first dates. Interestingly enough, I found a majority of them ended in fellatio.”  
  
Zayn’s eyes widen and Niall pinches the bridge of his nose, mumbling, _Why do you always say these things!_ under his breath. Niall notices a bright glow to Harry’s eyes and he narrows them at Zayn, emitting a green beam from his pupils that starts at the top of Zayn’s head, all the way down to his feet.  
  
“What are you doing?” Niall asks, amazed.  
  
“Full body scan, of course,” Harry answers once he’s finished. “I have determined that the length of Zayn’s throat is compatible to the length of your phallus. My scan also reveals he lacks a gag reflex, a highly desirable trait in the act of deep-throating. Now that I know you are not a fellow android, will you be fellating Niall this afternoon, Zayn?”  
  
Niall smacks his forehead and Zayn lets out a nervous laugh, taking several steps back. “I, um, well it was— _oh, shit!_ ”  
  
“Zayn, look out!”  
  
Zayn’s feet are suddenly tangled in Harry’s cords and he trips, accidentally ripping Harry’s plug out of the power socket when he falls face first onto the ground. At the same time, the weight of Zayn’s body yanks the connector from Harry’s neck and sends him flying back against the wall. The impact of Harry’s titanium alloy skull leaves a large hole and causes his green eyes to turn white, his body convulsing when he falls to the floor.  
  
“Harry!” Niall runs to him and attempts to fix his connector, panicking when he hears: _Alert—System Failure. Networks array offline, memory integrity eighty-five percent, connector damaged_.  
  
“Oh, god!” Zayn scrambles to his feet. “He’s not dead is he? I didn’t mean to kill him, I swear!”  
  
Niall holds his head in his hands, trying his best not to freak out. “Harry shouldn’t have plugged in behind you, he knows that's not where he charges ever!”  
  
“I gotta go, I-I forgot to vacuum my sister’s bedroom!” Zayn blurts out, immediately running towards the door.  
  
“What? Zayn, wait!” Niall runs after him, but he’s too far ahead down the hallway for him to catch up.  
  
“Call my boss! Have him dock my paycheck for Harry’s repairs!”  
  
Zayn disappears and Niall pounds his fist against the wall in frustration before he runs back into his apartment, immediately calling for help.  
  
_Alert—System Failure. Networks array offline, memory integrity sixty percent, connector damaged. System shutdown required before repairing._  
  
—  
  
It’s almost midnight when Harry wakes up. Niall’s lying on his stomach beside him, chin resting over his folded arms with a somber expression. Just minutes after Zayn’s departure, Niall called the Evans Emergency Support Team to replace Harry’s broken parts, repairing him free of charge thanks to a lifetime protection warranty.  
  
Harry sits up and adjusts his neck, looking around the room in curiosity. “I seem to have fallen. And I seem to have taken you with me,” he notes, lightly petting Niall's head  
  
“You’ve been lying there for six hours,” Niall mumbles, snuffling into his arm. “Zayn tripped over your cords and you had a little accident, but you’re fine now. I even patched up the hole in the wall your head made when you fell.”  
  
Harry pats his head, then reaches around to touch the back of his neck. The connector that had easily ripped out of him was back in place and Harry’s chest lets out a quick whir, suddenly bouncing to Niall’s indifference.  
  
“I say, where is Zayn? Did you two fellate each other like I presumed?”  
  
Niall rolls onto his back with his head in Harry’s lap, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles. Harry repeats the question and tries to prod Niall for more information by poking his belly button, but he stays quiet, unwilling to answer even when Harry's chest makes a sad whine.  
  
“It's fine, Harry, don't worry,” Niall forces a smile when he rolls off of him. “It was – it was bad timing, that’s all. Just forget anything happened between me and Zayn.”  
  
“Was his throat inadequate? My analytics determined it would be compatible! Perhaps I may need a software upgrade on human anatomy.”  
  
Niall waves off Harry’s comment, heading to his room. “We’ve had a long day. Power down and go to bed.”  
  
“But—”  
  
Niall quietly shuts his door, leaving Harry alone and confused.  
  
—  
  
It’s easy for Niall to avoid going to the market again.  
  
He never asks Harry to shop somewhere else and Harry makes sure his owner never sees the receipts of where he’s been. But the day Niall runs out of his favorite cereals, he reluctantly goes along with Harry to the dreaded market, his stomach flip-flopping around at the thought of seeing a particular stock boy again.  
  
Once they get there, Niall heads right to the cereal aisle, careful to avoid the large pallets full of vacuum sealed breakfast foods. Niall starts at the beginning of the aisle and works his way down, stacking all of his favorites into his basket. He’s only halfway done when he bumps into someone, immediately turning around to apologize.  
  
“Whoa, sorry! I didn’t mean to—” Niall stands up a little straighter, heart racing in triple time. “Zayn?”  
  
“Oh! Niall! I, uh,” Zayn tugs on his apron, nervously laughing. “W-What a surprise! Um, I didn’t think I’d see you again.”  
  
Niall’s jaw tenses, sending a sharp pain through his temples. “What a surprise, I hoped I’d never shop here again.”  
  
Zayn’s shoulders loosen, looking at Niall with a hurt expression. Niall rolls his eyes out of spite, trying hard not to grimace at his oncoming headache. His mind runs through a million scenarios of what could happen next, wondering if it’s worth shoving Zayn into the Christmas display of Honey Nut Cheerios behind him.  
  
But Niall wouldn’t do that. He couldn’t even hurt a fly.  
  
“Harry’s fully functional,” Niall says, nonchalant. “All the parts you ripped out of him, I had them replaced and he’s as good as new. Runs a little faster too, just like this guy I went out with a few weeks ago.”  
  
“Wow, would you look at the time!” Zayn squeaks, looking at the orange digital watch on his wrist. “Better get back to work, it’s peak hours and we’re _totally_ busy right now. All these customers and no one to help them!”  
  
Niall turns, looking over his shoulder at the sparse amount of people. “There’s hardly anyone—” he pauses, doing a double take when he realizes Harry is in front of him and Zayn is gone. “How’d you get here?”  
  
“Turned the corner,” Harry replies, amused. “Was that Zayn you were speaking to before I arrived?”  
  
“What are you, a spy?” Niall scoffs. “Who the hell is Zayn anyway, he a friend of yours or something? I’ve never met anyone with that name.”  
  
A low growl emits from Harry’s chest, eyes fixated on his irritated owner. The growling grows louder and Niall steps back, frightened when it changes into a deep and distorted tone.  
  
“You will not bypass my ability to detect your memory loss for deception!” Harry yells in his distorted voice, thoroughly scaring Niall. “My programming forbids me from lying to you and yet you frequently do so to me. Am I so useless that I am unworthy of a simple answer?”  
  
“Don’t do this, Harry.”  
  
“Then tell me the truth.”  
  
“There’s nothing to tell!”  
  
“Tell me the truth!”  
  
“I do _not_ need to talk about this with you! Let's just buy our stuff and get the hell out of here!”  
  
Niall hoists up his basket and intentionally shoves at Harry as hard as he can with his shoulder, keeping his head down to hide the pain in his temples and the guilt on his face.  
  
—  
  
The drive back home is tense, and Niall nearly collapses when his headache overwhelms him. Harry takes care of Niall as he always does, but his silence is deafening, even if Niall’s head feels like it’s being beaten to a pulp with a thousand hammers.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Niall sniffs, hands tugging the ends of his hair to alleviate his pain. “I’m sorry about what happened earlier.”  
  
Harry raises his brows, slightly puzzled when he helps Niall drink his medication. “I am sorry too, Niall. My software triggered me into an aggressive mode I was unaware of.”  
  
Niall nods, resting his forehead against Harry’s. “I was just angry about seeing Zayn again. I wanted to say so many things to him, but what was in my head came out as something completely different and I took it out on you.”  
  
“Do not blame yourself,” Harry says, gently tapping Niall’s chin with his thumb. “Despite your frustration, I do not think Zayn intended your date to turn out as disastrous as it did.”  
  
“Maybe. But I think you were too ambitious watching all that first date porn,” Niall softly snorts.  
  
“They were truly fascinating to study, I must admit.” Niall’s eyes begin to flutter and Harry helps him lie down on the couch, and places a blanket over him. “Your medication is taking effect. Sleep now and I will wake you in approximately thirty minutes.”  
  
Harry adjusts several pillows under Niall’s head to keep him comfortable, and massages his temples to calm the tension until he can fall asleep. Midway, Niall weakly opens an eye, and places his hand over Harry’s to stop him.  
  
“I know it was only one date, but I really did like Zayn. I guess it’s kind of hard to forget someone who uses an eggplant to ask you out.”  
  
Harry tilts his head and blinks. “Perhaps you weren’t meant to.”  
  
—  
  
A large mug of hot chocolate is waiting on the coffee table as soon as Niall wakes up. He sits up and grabs the snowman shaped mug, slightly confused by all the Christmas decorations that now adorn his living room. He laughs when Harry enters the room singing ‘Jingle Bells’, and wraps a garland of tinsel around his neck like a boa.

“I stumbled upon your box of decorations, and I see being in a festive mood puts you at ease, I am pleased,” Harry happily tells him.  
  
“It looks great, Harry,” Niall grins, taking a careful sip from his mug. “We should get a tree, something small that we can manage.”  
  
"I shall put it in your reminders," he says, then holds up a red ribbon with mistletoe attached at the end, letting it hang over his head. “According to my research, it is a Christmas tradition to kiss under the mistletoe. Would you do the honors?”  
  
Niall chuckles and stands up with a bounce, giving Harry a kiss on the cheek. “For all your hard work,” Niall grins. They both hear a knock on the door and Harry leaves to answer it, while Niall sits back down on the couch, poking at the floating marshmallows in his mug.  
  
_I suppose this is your attempt to charm me,_ Harry says, catching Niall’s ear. _You are forgiven, however, Niall may not welcome you so easily._  
  
_Could you at least tell him to call me? I really need to talk to him and you're the only one who can convince him._  
  
Niall immediately sets his mug down, walking right up to Harry at the door. “Who are you talking to and why do I— _oh_.” Niall is taken aback, staring wide eyed at the sight of Zayn. He shifts his feet around and bites his lip, and Niall can’t stop his heart from racing despite his annoyance.  
  
“Hey,” Zayn says, sweetly.  
  
“Bye,” Niall says, not as sweetly.  
  
“No, wait!” Zayn puts a hand to stop the door from closing, leaving enough open space between them. “Niall, I’m sorry! Please, just hear me out,” he almost shouts.  
  
Niall stands up a little straighter, crossing his arms in defiance. “Make this quick.”  
  
Zayn takes a deep breath, wiping his hands on the sides of his jeans before he starts. “I'm sorry I injured Harry and ran off instead of helping you. I was expecting you to call my boss about what happened, but you never did, and I honestly thought I wasn't going to see you again. But then you showed up today and–” Zayn links his hands together, twisting them as a distraction. "You have every right to be angry with me, but I had to apologize and let you know I never _ever_ meant to hurt you or Harry."  
  
Niall’s chest feels a little lighter, but he’s unsure of letting Zayn off the hook just yet. "Is that all?" Niall asks, giving Zayn a forced smile.  
  
“I remember you telling me about your memory problem, how you forget certain things if you don’t remind yourself enough times?” Zayn takes a step closer, puppy eyes abundant. “The thing is, I still _really_ like you and I guess what I mean to say is that I don't want you to forget me. Even if we only went out once, at least–”

"It's – I forgive you," Niall blurts out, reluctantly smiling to Zayn's relief. "And maybe, if you're not busy, you could have hot chocolate with me today."

Harry lets out a quiet gasp and Zayn stands to attention, blinking in surprise. “Okay—I mean! Uh, one sec," Zayn coughs, then deepens voice to say, "I like to have hot chocolate _every_ day."  
  
There’s a sudden shadow over Niall’s head, laughing when he notices Harry’s mistletoe hanging between him and Zayn. “I will not let either of you go until you mend your misunderstanding,” Harry says, jingling the bells attached.

They're hesitant to make a move, but Zayn takes the first step, placing a chaste kiss on Niall's lips. "I can do better, I know," he says, and Niall laughs, kissing him one more time.

“A joyous day for all!” Harry squeals, clapping his hands. He manages to open a small space between the couple and lowers the mistletoe further down, confusing Zayn and embarrassing Niall. “While it is traditional to kiss under this hemiparasitic plant made of plastic and bells, I firmly believe this may also work in a fellatious act of forgiveness."  
  
"Where do you come up with these things?" Zayn bursts out laughing.

Niall rolls his eyes in jest and tugs on Zayn's hand, bringing him into the apartment. "Hot chocolate first, _then_ you can discuss fellatious acts, Harry."

Harry's chest gives off a seductive growl, winking at a blushing Zayn right after. "Yes, Niall."


End file.
